Your Galveston Wedding Minister!

Honoring Loved Ones

Just today I am putting together a wedding ceremony for a couple who has lost someone special to them and they asked for ideas on ways to remember them within the ceremony. On a day when the couple brings together their beloved family and friends, this loss, no matter how much time has passed, is present within the day. It's important for the couple, and the family and friends, to acknowledge these people in a spirit that represents them. There are lots of public ways to do this.

A short remembrance in the wedding program. This is pretty common as it allows the couple to list everyone in their lives who are there in spirit along with a heartfelt note and it can be used in conjunction with other memorials.
A special flower arrangement. This is a lovely way to remember you loved ones, especially if they had a favorite flower or color. You can have minister make an announcement of what they represent or include it in the wedding program.
A moment of silence. This is a wonderful public acknowledgement as people throughout the congregation will also use it to remember the ones that they loved who have gone as well.
A special prayer. Usually used in conjunction with the moment of silence. Your minister probably has a few prayers on hand or may be able to help you write one for yourself that is both meaningful to you and your families.
A framed picture. A very visual reminder of the person who you want to remember. Including it with your engagement picture and wedding pictures of your parents/grandparents/family etc. will keep everyone connected and yet still provide a lovely reminder of the loved ones.
A candle lit in their honor. This is especially beautiful during a unity candle ceremony or after the two candles for the unity candle have been lit during the processional.

However, some couples may wish to remember the loss privately or would like some private reminder of someone special. There are a couple of ways to incorporate that into a wedding day.

Carrying a special memento. Carrying a handkerchief or other small item that is a reminder of that person keeps the connection you had to them without making it public. Small pieces of jewelry can be sewn onto the dress or woven into the bouquet or boutonniere. In one wedding, I saw the bride's grandmother's brooch pinned to the wrapped stems of the bridal bouquet. All three sisters had done the same thing at their own weddings.
Writing a letter. Writing a letter to the person about how much they meant to you, how you miss them, and how they would be proud and wish they could be there helps bring a certain catharsis to the loss. This can also be incorporated into the wedding by carrying it with you in some way.
Saying a prayer. This can be done privately with just you just talking to them as though they are there. Or you it can be done with family along with the minister. A short prayer thanking them for the influence that they have had in your life and for showing you how to love, just as you now love your new spouse.

Any way you choose to do it, it's important to remember to make it special to you. Just like your wedding is a reflection of you as a couple, how you remember your loved ones should be a reflection of your relationship as well.

One last note: It's important to remember your loved ones, but it is also important to remember their lives and how you loved them. This is a wedding. It's a day for joy and to joyfully remember their love, so you don't to focus too much on their death. Your loved ones would want you, and your guests to be jubilant and not stuck on their death.

Now go and be happily married!